Baby Cade Clemence

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BABY CADE CLEMENCE
BORN SLEEPING 29 OCTOBER 2007
MUMMY = LEE-ANNE DADDY = NEIL BIG BROTHER = CODY
NANA = JOY AND ( ANGEL ) GRANDMA = SANDRA

TINY BABY CADE SPREAD YOUR WINGS
AND FLY UP HIGH WHERE ANGELS SING.
LET THEM CARE FOR YOU
WITH ENDLESS LOVE,
KEEP WATCH OVER US FROM UP ABOVE.

WATCH OVER MUMMY AND DADDY CODY AND NANA TOO
BECAUSE EACH OF US ARE HURTING FROM LOSING YOU.
LET US KNOW THAT YOU ARE THERE
LOVING US DEEPLY AND WATCHING WITH CARE.XX

Our time was far too brief;
It was over before it had chance to start...
But our little angel left behind
Footprints Across our Heart.



Our beautiful baby boy was born at home on monday 29th oct 2007 after a weekend from hell. Cade was
our second son and after our precious son cody was born premature at 29 weeks weighing just 2lb 9oz
and born with a number of ongoing health problems we were promised constant care and monitoring with
cades pregnancy. Something that we sadly never recieved. All the scans went well and his little
heartbeat was strong.
Then came saturday the 27th oct : I woke up early went to the toilet and started to bleed, so neil
rang the emergency midwife team and explained we were told NOT to panick just for me to have
complete bed rest for the rest of the day and they would phone the hospital and book an emergency
scan. As the day progressed the bleeding stopped but the pain increased. After several telephone
conversations with our midwife (fiona) i was told to stop panicking and just keep to bed rest. I was
so scared i was to scared to move, to afraid to go to the toilet incase the bleeding started again
all i could do was cry. Saturday was a long day.
On the sunday i still had some light spotting and the pain in my back and stomach had increased. We
rang the emergency team again and was told that an appointment had been made to have a scan done on
the tues morning at the hospital. We argued that tues was to long away to wait but was told there
was nothing they could do at the weekend and first thing monday i would be examined by my midwife
and if needed i would then be taken in. We weren't happy but there the professionals so who are we
to argue! Oh god i wish we'de argued!! All day sunday i was in discomfort like having bad period
pains the midwife said the most likely cause was wind. I never experienced labour with cody as he
was delivered by emergency c-section so i just assumed i was being a wimp and felt so guilty that i
was causing such a fuss over possible wind. So all day sunday i just grinned and beared it.
Then came Monday the worst day ever....
The midwife was due to visit at 9.00am to examine me but by 10.00 am still hadn't arrived so several
messages later she rings us to say she was running late and would be with us by 11.00 am. We waited
anxiously and the pains by now were getting worse and seemed more frequent. By lunch time she still
hadn't arrived and after ringing the surgery and complaining we rang the hospital only to be told to
calm down and wait for her to call. She finally turned up at 4.30 pm. 7 1/2 hours after she promised
to examine me.
She examined me and told me i was fine she repeated that my pain was caused by wind and examined
cade and said he was fine heartbeat good and he was moving. She said it was upto us whether to keep
the scan appointment the following morning which we said we wanted to just to see him and confirm he
was alright. She said all i needed to do was take 2 painkillers, a nice hot cup of tea and a warm
bath. She took neil to one side and said to keep me relaxed the scan would confirm what she had said
and i was panicking over nothing. She sent neil off to run me a bath i took 2 paracetamol and she
left. JOB DONE. I again felt like an idiot for wasting peoples time. And made apologies for behaving
like a wimp.
I then decided to have the bath. Wrong Decision..
I had only been in the bath a few minutes when the pain was to much to bear i called for neil and he
helped me out. It felt like i needed to empty my bowels. All of a sudden i was curled over the pain
so bad and it was as though someone had popped a water balloon inbetween my legs i thought i'd wet
myself i still didn't know what was happening. Then there was a huge tugging sensation like as if
someone was pulling my insides and there he was our beautiful son on the bathroom floor. I screamed
hysterically. Neil just kept saying my god its our baby lee he's not doing anything. I fell to the
floor and everything was pretty blurred after that. I can vaguely remember the paramedics arriving.
And i remember them wrapping baby cade in a blanket and placing him in my arms.
He stayed in my arms in the ambulance and we were given a private room when we arrived we spent a
short time with him when we arrived then they took him off to be examined, cleaned and dressed.
Whilst i was treated and given an injection to make me deliver the placenta. Then he was given back
to us and we spent a couple of hours just the three of us. We hugged him and kissed him and told him
all about his family.
When the doctors walked in to take him for his final examination we were told we wouldn't be able to
see him again after they examined. He would be taken straight to the morgue. So many thoughts
swamped my mind. I couldn't hand him over. How could i knowing that would be the last time i saw
him. Neil had to hand him to them. I could literally feel my heart break. We were offered a photo of
cade but because of the heat of the bathroom and then the ambulance and hospital air he had changed
colour and didn't look like he did at home. Neil and i discussed it but wanted to remember him how
he looked in our arms not how he looked at the end of it. I was given medication after they took him
so was too doped up to remember the rest of that night.
Baby cade was buried on nov 14th 2007 he had a wonderful send off with family and close friends
present. He had beautiful flowers and was blessed by the priest at the church. He had a tiny white
coffin which neil carried and was laid to rest with his grandma sandra (my mum). So we know he is
safe.
I never understood the saying " a broken heart " but mine has been broken twice once by my mum and
now my baby boy.
Thank you for taking the time to read our heartache and for your continued support it has given me
the strength to share this with you.
Your candles, tributes and pictures mean so much to us as a family.
XXXXXXXXXX THANK YOU ALL XXXXXXXXXX